Ralph Smart is a life coach and founder of the YouTube series Infinite Waters (Diving Deep). He’s worked as a counselor, life coach, VFX artist and more. He also wrote a self-help book called Feel Alive.
There’s a lot of positive energy in each of his YouTube videos, and they leave viewers feeling much more confident about themselves and dealing with life’s mental obstacles.
1.) Live up to your Own Standards | 3:22
“That’s why you have social anxiety […]You are living according to someone else’s standard, that’s why so many people have social anxiety.”
Ralph Smart asks his audience, “if you were in a room full of Harvard graduates, would you feel insecure? He claims that most people would but says he would feel different by half-jokingly explaining, “I would feel fine because I graduated in the heart of nature baby! And what could be better than that?” It’s impossible to compare yourself to other people and win. That would be the literal definition of beating someone at their own game.
Ralph shares an example of how superficial thinking can make you look down on yourself, “Your social anxiety is eliminating from lack, from not having something someone else has[…] maybe you have a busted down car and your next-door neighbor is driving a Tesla, you’re going to have social anxiety whenever you meet them”. Simply because there’s always going to be someone better than you at everything, there are over 7 billion people in the world. However, you can always find a way to improve, compared to your previous self. Thus, meeting your own realistic expectations.
2.) Realize that Everybody has Flaws| 7:30
“For one moment everybody that you have anxiety around is on the toilet seat right now, oh! There no that scary anymore are there”
Ralph starts off with a light-hearted approach to social anxiety-inducing situations, ‘imagine the audience in their underwear’. The point is to stop putting other humans on a pedestal. He preaches to socially anxious people to change the perception and recognize that everybody has flaws that are perfectly imperfect,” The reason you have social anxiety is that you think those people are perfect and so much better than you.” Ralph advises his audience to view everybody as equal. That’s how we overcome social anxiety.
Take note that everybody you see has done something they’re not proud of, including yourself. Everybody you see has a deep dark secret that you know nothing about.
Ralph Smart claims the root cause of social anxiety is feeling like everybody is unworthy, he describes, “the reason you have social anxiety because you don’t feel like you deserve the right to be here.”
3.) What are you Eating? | 10:45
“Start eliminating foods which give rise to anxiety, junk foods, processed foods, caffeine-related products.”
Ralph Smart is a vegan that pays close attention to his diet. He claims that key mineral magnesium is important for fighting anxiety. “Did you know magnesium is essential to calming your nerves[…]”. Magnesium can be found in leafy greens seafood and nuts.
Keeping a healthy diet gives your body the essential nutrients and resources needed to deal with mental and physical obstacles. Putting poison in your body makes it difficult for you to have consistent energy to battle mental issues.
4.) Stay in the Present | 11:50
“Everyday I’m practicing mindfulness meditation, and meditation is the art of absorbing yourself in the present moment, 100%”
Anytime you have social anxiety Ralph Smarts want you to tap into your inner self yourself.
For example, during a panic attack really focus on your breathing, chances are your shallow breathing. Instead, inhale from deep within the base of your spine. You can learn more about being present in my post about Eckhart Tolle Author of the power of now.
6.) There is no Social Anxiety, Only Anxiety | 13:15
“When you write to me saying, ‘Ralph I feel nervous around people’, they(people) are acting as a catalyst, they are actually acting as a trigger, they are actually highlighting the anxiety which is already inside of you”
Ralph says anxiety is simply within you. Social anxiety doesn’t literally exist in the real world. Don’t blame other people for your anxiety without addressing the actual issue. Take responsibility because it allows you to address the issue on your own. Because when people you feel socially anxious around aren’t in the room, you still feel anxious, it’s just not as noticeable.
However, a toxic environment should be avoided, and your social anxiety can be used as guidance. The social anxiety is your inner-self saying, you shouldn’t be here in this place is affecting your mind body and spirit. That’s why he says in nature he feels no anxiety, even when people are present. However, when he is in a busy city with smoke, that environment can be more conducive to social anxiety.
Ralph Smart says we all have the right to let go of anything and anyone no longer serving your anxiety. The fastest way forward is to start a change in routine and change your life.
7.) Focus on Your Special Abilities | 17:08
“In a room full of Harvard graduates and professors you may have social anxiety until you realize, they can’t play the flute”
The age-old proverb that “comparison is the thief of joy” is extremely true according to ralph Smart. You need to recognize your own individual talents, and if you can’t think of any try asking a friend or develop some talents on your own. Also, take a break from social media, especially Instagram which is just an unrealistic social value competition.
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- Power of Now Eckhart Tolle